With how long I have shared my life with dogs (both mine and my clients’) – and how much I think, talk, and write about dogs, while also being open to the possibility of real communication and understanding between us – it is no surprise that over time I have begun to hear things dogs say to me – sometimes in whispers and sometimes in ways so clear that they take my breath away, bring tears, or elicit a physical reaction.
Both of my teachers, Kathy Warner and Dr. Sharon Kopinak (RIP), spoke of that inner communication between us and our animals, and the thoughts, feelings, images, and ideas that we can send each other. These incredible women were themselves highly intuitive and didn’t think there was anything unusual about “hearing” our dogs and “speaking” to them. I think many of you would agree that this is not only possible but happening all the time.
Lately I have felt frequent messages coming in from Kizzy, and if I could properly receive or even approximate her messages, they could be written out like this.
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Hi Mom,
It’s your old and best girl Kizzy here and I want to start by saying that I love you and that I am so happy and proud to be your dog.
I know you’ve been noticing how much I’ve aged lately and how much my body, behavior, and attitude have been changing. You can tell from how I sleep in late in the morning, how I don’t hear too well anymore, and how my legs give in under me every once in a while.
I thought I’d write to comfort you, Mom, and tell you that there is nothing to worry about or fear. Aging and eventually dying are natural parts of this brief time we have in this realm. Yet, you humans grieve death for longer than us dogs would want for you.
I’m sharing some thoughts so that this next chapter is wonderful for the both of us and, eventually, the passing that will follow feels like a natural completion rather than a tragic loss.
When Dr. Kato found the mass in my bum on Labor Day weekend, I wasn’t scared.
And when we went to see the surgeon, I wasn’t scared either. I am glad for the both of us that it wasn’t a serious matter after all, but the end will come eventually.
I am grateful you noticed the signs I gave you that training and trialing were no longer things I was interested in, and that being in your seminars and training sessions was becoming a little much for me.
That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy working for you, Mom. Quite the opposite, I could not be prouder to have been your sport companion for nearly a decade. These years we spent herding, whenever you could get away, were the best of my life. Waking up early in the morning to get to the farm as the sun was rising was magical for me. Working Kathy’s goats, sheep, ducks, and cows scared me at times, and we sometimes argued, but I learned to dance in that place and my heart sang with delight, doing this thing I was born to do and that you too enjoyed.
It is okay for good things to come to an end. But I sure hope, Mom, that you will find yourself a new herding mate one day and get back into the arena, because you were good at it too – better than you give yourself credit for! With Kathy’s guidance, you and I taught each other, and I am so thankful to have been your teacher as well as your student.
Scenting was such a wonderful way to keep in sport as I aged, and I am thrilled I earned you two Advanced titles and Judges Choice awards!
And while these years training with you were the highlight of my existence, it was simply by being with you that I got my joy.
Everything we did together was wonderful, but it all pales in comparison to the favor you did me by raising me to be sound, strong, and spirited. You did not accept the fearful, submissive, and broken dog that I was when I arrived. You knew that wasn’t the real me, even though I sometimes tried hard to pretend that it was.
It was not always easy for either one of us. I know that you were used to much harder and stronger dogs before me. I taught you how to handle a soft and sensitive dog, which isn’t necessarily easy. I am proud of the fact that this experience polished you as a trainer, smoothed your hard edges, and taught you to be a more versatile handler.
We did all this together. Now, let us enjoy and celebrate what we have left. May the time you enjoy with me and Bob, your two old retirees, be a time of comfort and relaxation.
When you look into our cloudy eyes and grayed faces, may that be your reminder that time is precious, and while you have achieved so much for others, you deserve rest and we deserve you.
Thank you for everything Mom, and don’t ever think you didn’t do right by us. You have no idea. I will be eternally grateful to you in this life and beyond.
With deep love and respect,
Kizzy
PS: Bruna and Nejra are still doing well for you and I am proud of them. I am happy to stay at home with Bob while you go to work with them, but please realize that they’re not getting any younger either. We did our part and it’s time to think of the next generation.