Whether you are new to life with dogs or have years of experience behind you, chances are you’ve come across people, with or without dogs, who show you, your dogs, and your need for space little regard and consideration. They will invade your space, talk to and touch your dogs, let their dogs near yours and much more. Despite all the social media posts about giving people and their dogs space, nothing seems to change.
After more than 20 years living with dogs, I have learned to not argue but it wasn’t always like this.
In my early years handling my own dogs, foster dogs, and shelter dogs I was walking, I used to get angry and sometimes into fits of rage. All that did was empty me of the energy that the dogs I was handling needed from me and feel awful about myself. Worse, I would stew over the altercations for the rest of the day and sometimes even for several days.
Then I started to calmly lecture people about space and boundaries. To no avail. Definitely a more constructive strategy but one that also left me feeling depleted and defeated and my dogs very much aware that I was physically there but psychologically elsewhere. I would also go back home feeling tired, frustrated, and not present to the people, animals, and things that actually matter.
Now, I no longer ask, argue, lecture, or get upset. I simply move away, turn around, walk fast – do whatever I need to keep my dogs safe. When people let their dogs loose into our space and then apologize, I don’t even say it’s okay – because it’s not. Whatever feelings I have in that moment, I channel them in being present for my dogs so that we can all deal with the intrusion successfully. And the best part? Even if I was yelled at for not arguing or responding – I don’t think about any of it the rest of the day.
What has been your experience with, and response to, people and their dogs encroaching on your space and boundaries? Has your strategy changed with time, like it has for me?